


You Knew This Was Gonna Happen

by GODDAMITWILL



Category: Little Einsteins (Cartoon), Shrek (2001), Shrek Series, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Humor, Crack, Other, im gonna hate myself for this i know i am
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-25
Updated: 2015-12-29
Packaged: 2018-05-03 06:34:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5280386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GODDAMITWILL/pseuds/GODDAMITWILL
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The adventures of Shrek and Mettaton featuring some steamy and possible angst romance. 8)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> god isn't gonna save me. people i urge you to start going to church ever sunday or wednesday. it doesn't matter just go to church and don't write these kinds of things.
> 
> Also I wrote this at school and i didn't want to say shrek's or mettaton's name I'm sorry I gotta at least stay safe there. I was gonna change it back to their names later but I think for the most part I'll at least leave one of the name's ambiguous but you know who it is without saying it....
> 
> May god have mercy on your souls if you're reading this.

It was a gonna be a bad day. Mettaton's crew got lost and had no idea where they were. The human world was much more vast than their small underworld. So the rectangle decided it would be best if they all split up and find someone who knows their way around here and get back on track on their tour. 

The rectangle decided to go into a more swampy area. “Bleh! All this heat and moisture is gonna ruin me!!” thought the robot. I mean, why did that rectangular box thought it was good idea to go there anyway? That beep beep rectangle probably needs a detector or something to say which area is bad to go into. That would’ve been very helpful. 

Anyway, so that robot was somehow rooming the swampland when he stumbled upon a more drier surface. The rectangle bumped into a sign. It was a strange sign. There was a picture of something green and angry along with the words “BEWARE OGRE”. The robot didn’t really read it though; entertaining rectangles doesn’t have time to read warnings. Reading warnings is for losers anyway. “Hmm… this strange human might help me out!” thought the entertainer. So the robot dashed to another strange sight. This time, the unicycle rectangle stumbled upon something that kinda looked like a house. But it was weird. There was a dirty white-ish tree stump growing on top of some mossy swamp grass. There was also a bit of a concave underneath the moss where there was a wooden door. The robot thought it was odd that people would live within the undergrounds but the robot’s been living underground for awhile. Sure was strange what practices humans could acquire. 

Not that any of that really mattered now, the entertain needed directions and fast. So the electric boombox rolled up to the door and gave it a couple of knocks. The door opened and a really strange person stood there. His skin was a very light-ish yellow green, and he was very large and stood at a great height. The large part wasn’t surprising though, for the robot met many large monsters during those tours. This person also had weird narrow and slim things sticking out of his head, The robot assumed those were ears. 

The big green giant opened his mouth and said to the robot “What do you want?” in a very Scottish accent. The robot simply said “I got lost on my way to a city where I’m touring to. Would you be so kind to give me directions?” 

The green giant scoffed at the rectangle’s question. Sure was a sight seeing some weird contraction at his front door. But considering the box didn’t look like someone who would throw torches or one of those annoying fairy tale creatures, he trusted this weird box. “Alright, where is it that you’re performing your show or whatever?” 

At that moment, just as Mettaton was about to speak, thunder rumbled and small drops of water came down. The robot scooted underneath the mossy grass and desperately told the giant, “Oh no! I can’t go back! The rain will mess up my circuits and I won’t be able to perform! Can I please stay in until the rain stops?” 

He rolled his eyes and scoffed, but since the box hasn’t been super annoying, he agreed to let the machine in. The machine happily rolled on into the swampy house. Neither of them were aware they would be a performance in that big tree swamp house.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I realized that while I was writing this chapter, I may have gotten some details wrong. Oops. 
> 
> Also I think I got some characterizations wrong, but I think I made it work. 
> 
> Enjoy, I guess...

The rain only continued to get worse, it seemed. It was now pouring down hard and there seemed to be no end to this rapid water banging down on the now soaked up ground. The robot looked out a small window depressingly. The rectangle hoped the crew was alright and not in any kind of trouble. 

Shrek mainly tried to ignore the fact that he had some odd beeper in his home. “It’s only temporary,” he reminded himself nearly every minute it seemed. So the giant decided to distract himself from that… thing that can’t touch water because of whatever that thing said and prepare his dinner. Dinner was this ogre’s favorite thing. He always love boiling up his onion swamp soup and roasting up some of those homegrown swamp squashes with slug stuffing, it was the life. After sitting down at his swampy wood table and taking several bites out, the ogre hesitant one more bite and glanced over. That robot was still there at his small swamp window, still sadden about the rain and probably his concert. Shrek thought he would have some sympathy and try to engage a conversation with stereo radio on a wheel. 

“Do you want something… to eat maybe? I can share, you know?”

Mettaton lost his gaze and turned to the green person, only to sadly reply, “Oh, I don’t need food to keep going. It won’t do me any good, you see.”

So much for that, Shrek thought. But he couldn’t just have some sad mechanical feeling gloomy in his place. He needed to distract him somehow. 

“So um… you said you’re a performer or something like that?”

“An entertainer, yes.”

“So… maybe you could show me one of your special shows you do? Like possible a short one?”

Mettaton’s square pixel buttons gleamed. The box was always willing to perform in front of any audience, no matter how small of big. And it couldn’t help to get some practice in. After all, Mettaton’s going to have a big performance and it wouldn’t hurt to have a small feedback on some of his skits. 

“Gladly!” Mettaton chimed, scooting up in front of Shrek’s dinner table. It displeased the entertainer that this wheel couldn’t have a stage to perform but it wasn’t going to stop Mettaton from doing anything. He must perform at the request of this strange creature. 

And so, Mettaton begins with the a skit that was requested to be first at his next performance. 

“Oh dear me! I, the princess, have been waiting for so long…. Trapped away in this tower…”

Shrek very very VERY softly groaned and had to hold back the urge to roll his eyes. Of course the beeper had to do some fairy tale skit. But he didn’t want to disappoint this now acting thing; he was the only audience to witness this skit. So Shrek does his best to pay attention while eating his dinner. 

“...And this spell I’m enchanted with, only comes after the sun sets. Only then I am my true self…”

Shrek didn’t quite catch it at first but he noticed now the box now has… legs? Shrek thought it was strange because there were no legs, there was only a unicycle sticking out of whatever that thing was to begin with. Shrek really did enjoyed the sight of it though but he decided it was best to give his attention to the perform rather than be distracted by something so trivial. Probably part of the performance, thought Shrek, since it was some fairy tale skit. 

“But I cannot remain that was until thy spell is broken, by true love’s kiss…”

Steam blow out and Mettaton changed. Shrek could only see a shadow among the steam. And it sure wasn’t no rectangular box anymore. Shrek was slightly confused but kept calm and stuffing food into his mouth. 

“Oh my, oh my!! When shall my dear prince come and rescue me and free me from this curse? When shall I find my true love and when shall we kiss the night away?”

Shrek dropped his fork. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Not only did this robot has a great set of legs but god. Shrek was in complete awe by that gorgeous face. Those eyes that ever droop so slightly, those lips that puckered up with that amazing shade of fuchsia pink. Such a sight to see. 

“Now tell my darling, what is your name thy ask?”

“S-Shrek…”

“Oh dear Shrek! You’ve been such a good audience!”

Shrek couldn’t only pay attention to those legs. Which seemed much closer to his reach then he recalled… Wait when did the sexy transformer get up on the table? 

“Those legs… have more layers than onions…”

“Oh hun, these legs have MORE layers than your average onion!” Mettaton said ever so slyly with a wink. 

At this point, Shrek fainted from all the emotions he was feeling for this sexy robot.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for all the jokes in this chapter. That's all I have to say for today.

It must have been morning when Shrek woke up, because the sun was shining out and bright through his windows. He groaned and blinked his eyes for a moment before he took in his surroundings. I was back in bed, almost as if he usually would when the day was over and he needed some shut eye for the night. But he was still in his usually day clothes though. He doesn’t even sleep with them on unless on a rare occasion that he was super tired. But he didn’t remember being that worn out yesterday. 

Just then he heard humming. And it wasn’t just any kind of humming either. It sound more techno and rhythmic. Just as Shrek got out of bed and pulled the curtains, it all comes back to him. 

That’s right, that pop star robot performed in front of me and I fainted, the ogre realized. And looks like the star was cleaning up the mess on the table, not that was necessary but Shrek appreciated it. But it seemed that the robot has returned to the rectangle box self. Probably for the best. 

As Mettaton finished up the last bit of the mess, turned behind and was a little surprised to see the ogre up. 

“Oh! You were out for a little while and I got worried so I decided to stay until you woken up! And you kinda made a mess when you fainted, so I cleaned it up a little! Just take it as an apology for my overlong stay!” 

Shrek nodded, not awake enough to put out any thoughts or words. He took a few more steps as an attempt to waken up himself up more. 

“But alas, I must go! I mustn’t be late for my next show! And I’m sure everyone is worrying about me! It would so dreadful for them to show up and not have the star of the show be there!” 

Mettaton rushed to the door, and just he was about to exit, the star turned back and shouted out, “Oh, and if you want to come by my show, you can let yourself in for free! It’s my treat to you since you were so kind to let me stay.” 

Shrek managed to grumbled out the word, “Thank you” also unicycle pop star rolled out of his home. Shrek was a little sad the robot had to leave so soon. He wanted to see more of that act and felt he missed out on the show. But maybe that’s part of the charm, thought the orge. That something so simple as a metal box could turn into something so gorgeous and woo a crowd. It certainly worked on him, considering he’s usually a miserable ogre who’s been trying to have a peaceful life and wishing he didn’t have to drive away some villagers shooting with torches and pitchforks in their grimy hands. 

Just then Shrek suddenly remembered something. “Wait! Didn’t you need directio-” But as he dashed out through his house and punching the door, he only saw his bare land. The robot was nowhere to be found.

\---------

Mettaton managed to meet up with everyone else who were in a frantic but relieving mood. Thankfully one of them managed to get directions to the city so they all wasted no time and zoomed down the road onward to their show in Duloc. 

The crew managed to get there just in time but they needed to set up fast. And Mettaton also needed to speak with the so-soon-to-be king, considering he’s the one who requested the show to come here. So Mettaton told the crew to set up while going to speak with this ‘high’ authority. From what the pop star heard, he was rather on the low end. He he… 

Ok that wasn’t really funny but moving on. Mettaton casual stroll through this tall castle and up to the throne room. The guards let box in, because there’s literally posters all over the place with that box on it. The guards actually didn’t mind considering they were sick of the sight of their over egocentric lord being all over the place. They also really prefer Mettaton’s color scheme over their lord’s too. They find it more fun and more easy on the eye since pink was really the only poppy color on the entertainer. 

So Mettaton rolled onto this long and narrow red carpet up to where the lord was standing but stood at considerable distance from him. 

“Lord Farquaad, I presume?” Mettaton commented, holding in a laugh about this lord’s size. 

“Yes and you must that Mettaton, the entertainer from the Undergrounds…” Lord Farquaad took a sip from his marTINI, hahaha! (Ok I’ll stop it with the jokes I’m sorry)

“So you must understand that I have big plans to discuss with you about this show of yours.”

“Yes, I do! It’s why I’ve decided to come here first before making any elaborate arrangements!”

Mettaton though wish to be making one right now. This SMALL talk wasn’t going anywhere for the star at least hehe… Mettaton needed to show this Farquaad how BIG this ego can go and it’ll go much farther and bigger than castle. But sadly, Farquaad had other plans in mind. 

“Right now… Ah, I’ve got just the plan!” As the lord snapped his fingers, a guard rushed and turned Mettaton’s back switch.   
“Oh, very clever. You really wanted to see my beauty that much that you had to turn the switch, huh?”

Mettaton once again transformed into Mettaton EX. But this star was a little annoyed. 

“I was going to save that for the show, you know?”

“Yes well, why don’t you take that show elsewhere and prove yourself to be as beautiful as you seem?”

Somehow, Mettaton got knocked in the had and the guards start toying with the machine’s wires and circuitry. Eventually, several chips were taken out and Mettaton was nothing more than just a mere lump of metal conjoined. 

“Now take that thing to T H E T O W E R.”


	4. Chapter 4

Shrek and Donkey stood in front of the stadium.  _ This was suppose to be the place, right?  _ thought Shrek. He wasn’t sure why he came here in the first place. He didn’t think he would come. But… It was free. And he could see that robot perform once more. Yeah, that’s all it was. A free ticket to see that marvelous Mettaton performing. He couldn’t understand how some weird mechanism could captive him. He was nothing more than a bunch of gear and metal with some very strange magic that’s even hard for him to wrap around,even though he was very familiar with that sort of thing.

“Aw you like him, don’t cha?” Shrek stubbled, trying to reclaim his thoughts. 

“What? No, Donkey!” This ass was smiling mischievously. He knew what was going on. “Come on Shrek! You’re just as wanting to see him as everyone else in the kingdom! He must be a work of art if he’s got even you coming to his show!” 

“NO!” Shrek denied all this. “It was just a free pass! And I don’t understand what’s so good about some rectangle that rolls around doing a bunch of crap.” Donkey, leaned in closer and started raising his eyebrows. “I knoooooooow yooooooou liiii-” Shrek shoved Donkey out of his face and stomped forward into the stadium. Passing through the dark tunnel that led up, he noticed something strange about this place. First of, it looked more like an arena. There was no grand stage as expected. And it was already lit up too brightly. “Something’s not right here…” he mumbled.

When he finally came to the end of the tunnel, he saw it all. There was a group of people in front of him all dressed in armour or at least something that’s decent enough to be protective enough for their bodies. High above, their was a crowd in the benches, mumbling in confusion. They all were just as confused as Shrek was. In fact, no was really had a clue what was going on. Well… except one…

Lord Farquuad stepped up on the highest raised balcony, that was made just for him. Because he’s a prick. An annoying little prick.  

“Well, hello everyone!” he announced, capturing everyone’s attention. “Now I know there’s been a little problem. You see, that star isn’t here!” 

Everyone gasps. Even Shrek couldn’t believe it.    
  
“But now now, don’t worry! I have a brilliant idea!” He paused for a moment, partly for the effect, partly to ensure that he got the anxious anticipation he wanted from the audience, but mainly to make up for his small ego. “We’re gonna have to choose someone to get Mettaton back!” 

The crowd roared but Shrek was still confused. “Choose? What does he even mean?” 

“Now, whoever defeats that hideous orge will go and save Mettaton!” 

“Oh…” Shrek signed. He wasn’t really in the mood but it seemed he had no other choice but go along with this game that Lord Farquuad set up. 

“Let the games beeeegiiiiiiiiiin!”

A ghost was watching all this play out from a far. “Ugh that fuckin asshole, first damamging my body and then setting up innocent people and endangin-”

“Hey now.” The ghost looked around, trying to figure out the source of where that voice was coming from. 

“Ya know, you could like, go and save them from this quest that Lord Farquuad is setting up. It would ruin his plans and he’d became nothing but small crumbs.”

“Hmm, how though? I don’t have my body and even then, I need Alphys to fix it up because it’s damaged.”

“Go to those kids with the rockets over there.” A finger was pointed to four small children with a big red rocket right behind. “They’ll probably help you out.” 

“Wouldn’t that be dangerous though? To send little kids out and risk their lives?”

“Ok look here. I only watched one episode of that and those kids had no parents looking out for them. All they had was that stupid rocket flying them around. I mean that rocket could had flyed over that fucking swamp but no the rocket had to turn into a swamp boat and sail them across a swamp with alligators in them. All for the act of friendship for some bird. Also your one to speak since Frisk was like probably their age or slightly older walking around Underworld with like a bunch of monsters that could have killed them, including you kinda like why are you worrying about that shit? I mean for christ's sake that redhead kid can fly that rocket and I’m 20 and I still have my driver’s permit because I hate driving. And-”

“Ok, ok! I get it. I guess I’ll go ask them.” The ghost swayed away from me. I kinda stood there, still a little peeved but thankful I was heard for once. No one ever listens to me anyway. 

“Hey um, kids?”

“Whoa! Look! Do you see a ghost?”

(Say yes! Don’t disappoint the kids!)

“There it is!” The redhead kid is pointing at Mettaton, or at least the ghost form that he previously was. 

“Right, so I have a friend that might be in trouble…”

All the kids gasp in shock and in unison cried out “Oh no!” 

“We must help your friend out!” Said the one in a ballet-like outfit. 

“Yeah… I know where they’re going but I need help to get to them in time. Could you kids maybe help me out?”    
  
“Hey,” the redhead kid turned towards away from the ghost to look at something. The rest of the kids did the same thing. It’s kinda creepy actually. “Will you help the ghost save their friend?”   
  
(Get in the rocket, you kids. I wanna sing it right now!)   
  
“You will? That’s great!” That stick that the redhead carries starts blinking at the tip. “Looks like we have a mission!” 

“Oh!I almost forgot! We should get to know each other!” I’m Leo!” Leo points to the girl next to him,”That’s Annie!” Annie giggled. He proceeded to the next boy, “That’s Quincy!” He started playing the drums. Mettaton had to admit though, he was pretty good. “June.” June did some triwls.  _ Very elegant _ , Mettaton thought. “And that’s rocket!” And the rocket was bouncing. How that’s possible, I don’t even know.

“Now you know everyone, what’s your name, little ghost?

“Mettaton.” 

“Hello, Mettaton! Everyone get on the ship! We’ve got a mission!” 

Aw yeah. We’ve got a mission. All the kids, Mettaton and me get on aboard on that ship. Also note the seat belt safety. Make sure to buckle up everyone! And now the song I’ve been waiting for. 

_ *violins* _

_ Annie: We’re going on a trip in our favourite rocket ship! _

_ Everyone, yes including Mettaton and me: Zooming through the sky! Little Einsteins!  _

_ Leo: Climb Aboard!  _

_ Annie and Quincy, and Mettaton: Get ready to explore! _

_ Everyone: There's so much to find, Little Einsteins! We're going on a mission! _

_ Leo: Start the countdown! _

_ Everyone: Five, four, three, two, one! Everyone to Rocket, _

_ Leo: Rev it up now! _

_ Everyone: eeerrRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEE! _

_ Leo AND ME: We're going on a trip,  _

_Everyone:_ _In our favorite rocket ship!_

_ Zooming through the sky, Little Einsteins! _

_ Leo: Climb aboard, _

_Everyone:_ _Get ready to explore! There's so much to find,_

_ Quincy: Little Einsteins! _

_ Annie: Come on! _

_ Leo: Let's go! _

_ June:Little Einsteins! _

_Everyone:_ _We need you! Little Einsteins, yeah!_

And we all vroomed off to save Shrek and Donkey. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally got the idea to put the Little Einsteins in last night this is what happens when you stay up until four or five in the morning. Sorry for the delay. I had no energy to write until now somehow. Also, I'm not 20 years old. Why would I even put my age here?


End file.
